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I know I promised another post in less than 7 months, so since I was coming up on 3, I decided this would be a good time.  So a lot of you may know that I suffer from high anxiety.  I have spoken with some people who are not aware of the effects this disorder can have on your body.  I have a very high stress job and it is no easy feat dealing with the stress when I can’t always control my own emotions.  I have gone through several different types of treatments, and more recently had a medication change.

If you have been keeping up with my life (why would you? I don’t know, but some of you might haha), you know that I have also been trying to keep in shape.  This is also not easy when I have terrible panic attacks, can’t sleep, and feel exhausted daily.  I decided to take a break from focusing on the healthy life style to focus on my “mental fitness.”  Once I can get that under control, then I can really focus on my healthy lifestyle.  I think I was doing a good job for quite a while.  I did 2 rounds of 21 day fix, and tried to continue the healthy lifestyle thereafter.  However, the stress of my job took a toll and grad school on top of that was so much pressure, I didn’t have it in me to go grocery shopping, prepare foods, or even stay awake when I got home from work.

I feel like me talking about my treatment may help others seek the treatment they might not know they need, or at least get thinking maybe they do need help.  It is not normal to have pressure on your chest and feel like you can’t breathe.  Yes stress is normal, and some people may experience anxiety.  Some people can experience occasional panic attacks, and not have a panic disorder (read more about it here: Panic Attacks).  But anxiety or panic disorder is something that can be controlled with treatment and/or medication.  The psychiatric definition of anxiety disorder: “a nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.” (Google, 2015).  It is difficult to live life and have to deal with these feelings, ups and downs and feel like you are going crazy.  If I didn’t get help, I would probably be in a mental institution, no joke.  I get why some people may be embarrassed to talk about it, but you shouldn’t be.  I think it is actually somewhat common to have these disorders.  I have heard talk about chemical imbalances and there are so many different reactions and disorders across the population, it helps others to understand what you are going through if you can talk about it.

A lot of my coworkers know about my disorder, and I think that is okay.  Sometimes they say, did you take your pill?  And I am not offended.  I laugh, and guess what?  Sometimes I forget!  So it is a good reminder.  They care about me, and we are sort of close so we get each other.  They don’t get upset if I freak out at something, they know that it isn’t really my real reaction, it is my anxiety talking.  You don’t have to tell your boss, or disclose that information to your place of employment.  I actually feel like it helps those around me understand why I react certain ways to some things.  It helps everyone understand why Heather may be the crazy one sometimes.  So I chose to tell some people, and it doesn’t bother me that people know.  I know that there are people who would be very uncomfortable if others knew about their disorder, and that is okay too.  You don’t have to tell people.  But I feel like I would rather people know, so they aren’t surprised at my behavior.

So as I am going through this stage in my life, trying to take control of this disorder, and get myself in a mentally fit state, I wanted to share in hopes that maybe others who are going through a difficult time can take comfort knowing they are not alone.  The holidays are coming up, things can get crazy, so I hope to stay sane, and MENTALLY FIT 🙂  Happy November!